Letter To Grandma
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They sang your favourite song in the Catholic Church as they closed your casket, Grandma. It felt like a bad dream when I heard you were gone, so tears eluded me because my subconscious mind knew that I could come and see you at your home again. It felt like one of those weekends when I hadn’t come to you for weeks; like I could just come by whenever I could. I uttered words about your death, but it hadn’t hit me quite yet.
It was only when I saw you lying lifeless in that casket that my mind registered that you were gone. We couldn’t take it. None of us. It was hard to see you lying still. But that song reminded me of you so much. It’s actually a song I’ve thought about since you passed. But as the notes were played and we sang along in the chapel, it sounded like a message from you to me.
“Jesus is with you,
He goes ahead of you,
And He watches your back.
Jesus is with you,
In your troubles and your sufferings
If the whole earth quakes
Even if the mountains are uprooted and thrown into the ocean
Do not be afraid, Do not be afraid
For He is with you always.
If you love the Lord your God
With all your heart and in everything you do,
And if you love your friend, your brother as yourself.
If the whole earth quakes
Even if the mountains are uprooted and thrown into the ocean
Do not be afraid, Do not be afraid
For He is with you always.”
I’ll keep in mind that, Grandma; Jesus is with me. I’ll trust in the Lord and cling to Him like you did till your death. Your daily devotions and your constant cries to God to save you have been heard. Now you rest easy and are free from pain.
As we sit together with this casket, airlifting your mortal remains to your hometown, I can’t help but think back on all the things we should have done for and with you while you were alive.
We never flew you or even followed you by road to your hometown, but here we are, taking you to the one place you always loved to go when you weren’t with us. The place you asked to be buried.
We didn’t celebrate you enough until you turned 80. We should have. You deserved more from us. From me. I should have visited you more when you moved closer to my home. But you were always so welcoming when I did come by.
Your wit never faded.
You lived. We learnt a lot from your life.
I knew this time would come, but I wasn’t prepared for it. At all!
Sleep well, Grandma.
We’ll uphold your legacy and walk in your footsteps.
Till we meet again.
Love,
Your sweetie pie.